The Psychologist

Today was my day to see the Psychologist.  When I saw him he's what you picture a old psychologist---flannel shirt, tucked into his beige corduroy pants and loafers---I was thinking---GOD this isn't going to work.  I came into his office---no I didn't lie down---and started telling him the very brief not into too many details of the relationship with the EX and the break up.  

At the end of it this is what I got out of it:

-I felt that I'm not too out of the ordinary to be feeling this way and missing him still

-The whole stalking thing and thinking of ways to get him to talk to me and finding ways to make his life miserable by seeking revenge on him is like an addiction.  One day at a time and it is a bad habit I need to break.  Petit a petit l'oiseau fait son nid.

-That my previous relationships have been about my EXes and not about me whatsoever.

-Is that bad to be alone?

-I need to start thinking of me---my needs, wants and limits and to pay attention of the Red flags when they go up.

Nothing earth shattering but what do you expect on the first time.  I felt OK after it and whether I will see him again....well..... let me tell you this......In the middle of one of our conversation I was telling him on what I forgave the EX about and that I manage to move on from that because in relationships you do forgive your partner and give second chances (NO he didn't cheat on me) he did PORN against my wishes---LONG story there.

However, the Psychologist said to me---Well how did that work out for you in the end---I said--Not well at all as I got screwed over in the end because he thought that if I would forgive him doing porn (and more that I haven't mentioned) he thought that I could most-likely forgive him getting fucked by ugly ugly ugly fat strangers in bathhouses in a sling behind my back during his lunches from work and fucking old easy whores that everyone has fucked in Toronto behind my back----the Psychologist looked at me and said---Well, you didn't get screwed--he got screwed not you.  I laughed out loud and decided there that I will see him again next week.