Obviously, I had a bad day yesterday and the night didn't get any better. However, the late night was uplifting and made me smile. I was talking to this guy that I met a while ago and it is so nice to have someone so open and honest talk to me. I wasn't the one directing the conversation at all. He was genuinely interested in me and ask questions about me and not just ask the question back that I just asked him to be nice. All this to say, today was much better and even a teacher friend commented that I seemed a little happier. Good sign.
As for the guy---totally the look that I'm into and we'll see where it goes. I don't need a relationship right now---CLEARLY---but nothing wrong in getting to know someone and discovering that I can trust again and feel that someone wants me for me and not because I made it convenient for him to stay which looking back in the last year---is what I'm feeling. I made it easy and safe for the EX to stay because why leave the cow if you are getting many other's milk for free and the cow is so oblivious about it.
I do wonder when thinking about the EX stops. This guy and the others that I have known these last 3 months have been very good on changing my focus and my thoughts---which is what I need. As for more, there is a lot that needs to be dealt with and I have no choice to do it alone as the EX doesn't want to see me or talk to me. Therefore, I have to put my questions and images out of my mind and move on. Easier said then done but what other choice that I have.
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