PLEASE Stop the Music

I was in Toronto this weekend.  The drive there and back--alone--makes it the toughest part of the trip as I have to listen to music and right now every single fucking song reminds me of the EX. I try to keep it up beat with no slow songs but it doesn't work because I'm thinking---remember when we heard that Mariah remix in Montreal in Aldo and went across the street and you bought the CD. That is how it is ALL the friggin time.  Seriously, at the gym, at home, in the car and especially on my Ipod. 

The song that made me cry and cry and cry but not in the bawling way but more in the way that one day the EX will feel this was Deborah Cox's "One Day You Will"  I just have an image of me seeing him and us looking at one another and both of us tears running down our faces and me touching his cheek with my thumb and saying----I know Be--I know!!!  I feel that I will always cry just of what was lost and how he threw it all away so quick sex--several times--behind my back. Basically he chose, 2o minutes of pleasure instead of a possible lifetime of unquestionable and unconditional love that no one else will EVER give him like I did.  

OH!!!! he regrets that today--that I know to be true but he's made his bed and now he has to lay in it.  That doesn't meant that if he called that I would hung up on him because like I've said before--- communication is what I want for us to built any kind of relationship as we did spend 3 years together and I miss him---I really do :(  Plus, it will help us both heal.