You And I Go On

I'm trying to figure things out on both fronts right now.  The EX and the new guy.  Many people have said or are thinking let the EX thing go but I can't.  This is what I'm thinking about the EX. He has no one around him (other then his parents) that connect him to anything from his past. He has no friends from school that he stays in touch with, no friends--let a one boyfriends--from the cities in which he has lived in.  Clearly this is because he doesn't want reminders of those times and of who he was and what he did.  I believe that he wants the same from me---put me away, don't deal with me, don't speak or see me and the past has never happened---FERME LES YEUX-FERME LES YEUX-FERME LES YEUX.  

However, in order to have a better future--the past's mistakes must not be made again.  The EX needs to realize that.  He knows I won't just disappear, fade away or be ignored because one day--our paths will meet and wouldn't it be better if we could deal with things a little and to have some sort of of relationship before this awkward/surprise encounter.  I will continue to try and do my part and one day I hope he sees that I mean no harm but more of a hope of taking our relationship on a different route--one of possible friendship.

As for the new guy---can he be better and say things perfectly at the right time and in the right manner?  Trust me that I also roll my eyes at the things he says but he is so genuine and true that you can't help but really like him---which I do. Things are tough for him at the work and the future is up in the air--he wants to hold on to me and bring me on this ride---only if I want to he says.  He is very good for me and I need him right now.  Not looking ahead to the future is tough for me as I need to know where things are going and heading but we can't right now and that is unsettling for me.  However, this journey we will take together and see what happens.  If things are meant to be between us--then it will work out.  If not, so let it be.  This is a lot harder then I let on but it will be great for me as it will give me time to think of me and my needs and wants.  The easy thing would be to cut and run.  However, he is such a friggin great guy and so nice and kind to me that I can't let him go.  I like him.