Alone

It is amazing that one can have two totally different feelings at the same time--at the same moment with the same song.  During breakfast this morning the new guy and I were eating out (yes--I went to see him for the weekend and it was a really great time and I have no flags up, no "but" or "however" to say, no worries or qualms) and I heard for the first time on the radio Celine's version of "Alone".  I knew the song as soon as I heard the first note and goose bumps ran up my spine as I thought---it is about time they release another song off her album.  After that my feelings got all confused as they went to the EX and the new guy.

As you can already tell, music is basically around me all the time and it drives most of my memories.  I truly believe that I have a memory for every song I have ever heard--seriously I do.  Now as "Alone" was playing the words obviously are directed towards the great new guy and the memory stems from the EX. I heard it with him the first time and he is a "Heart" fan but the memory of hearing it for the first time in public will always be with the new guy.  He even noticed me tearing up a bit.  

The thing is that I don't want to forget the good things of my past relationship and I'm afraid that I will (as it it normal) as I make new memories with the new guy.  The thing is at the moment all I have are memories as he still doesn't want to communicate with me.  I'm afraid that if I lose those memories I will lose him as I have nothing else of him to hold on to.  As for the new guy, I want to make new memories with him and I am.  I can't wait to make new ones but I don't want to make them at the expense of losing or forgetting the previous ones that I have.  However, it isn't like I'm not going to make new memories with him because I'm afraid of losing the old ones---you know what I mean?