But I Thought I Knew Everything

I cut my lawn for the first time yesterday and it was theraputic and a good thing. Even after 6 months of being single, "firsts" always seem to creep up on you and linger around. Cutting the grass was never my job around the house last year--the EX always did it and I still have images of him doing it in my mind. Nevertheless, I cut the front and the back with no drama to speak of---I still have all my toes and fingers and so does my puppy.

Actually, I felt really good about it after and it was the first Saturday in a long time that I wasn't as lonely as I usually am. The afternoon went by fairly quickly and though I did think about the EX, I never once shed a tear. Big step.

I wonder if my "new" mood has something to deal with the fact that the EX and I have shared a few emails and did see each other last week. I do believe that there is a correlation there but I feel fine with it. Having him in my life to a degree is what I wanted. Now that I have it (to some fragile degree), I'm enjoying it for what it is and that is all. No expectations like I previously said. I do think that this is the easy part as eventually we will have to bring up the subject of what he did but no big rush. I'm good with how things are at this moment and I don't have that overwhelming sadness over me like I had before.